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CHRISTIAN
SINGLES
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CHRISTIAN SINGLES : GUIDE TO
ENDING LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION Cont.
Chapter 23 Self Sabotage; When You Shoot Yourself In
The Foot!
Self Sabotage and Self-deception
Another aspect of self sabotage is self-deception, also known as “being
in denial,” the latest buzz word. This is a coping mechanism, to
explain away any new failure. It has been called counterfactual
thinking, meaning that the person makes decisions counter to what is
factual. Being in denial, the person selects another bad romance, by
selectively choosing to ignore the warning signs of yet another
disaster. The object of their affection has all the bad habits and
attitudes their previous disaster had. (he is addicted, lazy, looking
for someone to support him; or she is a jealous shrew, and a control
freak to boot.) Self-deception ignores the truth. “To thine own self
be true” isn’t seen as a principle to live by to those who deceive
themselves. This self-inflicted wound causes much agony, for the
deceived and for those who care about them. This, too, can be brought to
the Lord and healed. An affirmation spoken to bring victory over
self-deception could be “To my own self I will be truthful”.
Noting that self-deception can be so tricky that we do not even
recognize it while we are deceiving ourselves, how then can we know that
self sabotage has reared it’s ugly head through the influence of
self-deception? One way Christian singles can observe it is by taking to
heart what friends and family say to us, which could be just the clue we
need to uncover this subversive tendency. Depression and loneliness
definitely play a role in self-deception, and a depressed person cannot
see himself as capable, worthy of happiness and love. So play back in
your mind some of the comments those closest to you may have made, in
their effort to help you get out of your funk (and, which you may have
found irritating, unhelpful, and unwelcome!) Have you heard any of the
following, or anything similar, from those who are trying to help you?
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