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CHRISTIAN SINGLES : GUIDE TO ENDING LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION Cont.

Chapter 23 Self Sabotage; When You Shoot Yourself In The Foot!

We can sabotage ourselves in many ways. A good job can be sabotaged by coming in late, being non-productive or argumentative with co-workers or managers or calling in sick often. We can bring our problems to work, refuse to be a team player, dress inappropriately, or fail to practice good hygiene, or simply have a bad attitude. But remember, all these negatives are really self sabotage, not just laziness or carelessness. We must get to the root of the problem, and this requires finding out why a part of our mind wants us to fail. Then we can identify the cause and pray against it, renouncing it and claiming our right to a sound mind. Remember our verse, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. Claim this, cling to it, and repeat it over and over, so that you begin to train your mind to be renewed, and not to be stuck on those old beliefs, based on a deep sense of shame, worthlessness, or any negative root cause. Once you have been forgiven by God, nothing you did in the past or thought about yourself in the past can be held against you. You must destroy these old vain imaginings and see yourself as a new person, a clean slate upon which you will write self esteem, and a healthy and humble image of yourself. We will look at other strategies to destroy self sabotage in later chapters, but for now, just give the problem to the Lord to help you overcome the root causes and begin to have confidence in yourself again. It is tragic that a child can be abused or even molested and somehow the message that sticks in the mind is that THEY were bad! What a travesty. It’s good that abused children can now get counseling to show them that they were innocent victims and it was not their fault, but that hasn’t always been the case. Many children grew up, hindered with a sense of shame, when, in reality, an abusive, evil adult is the only one who should be ashamed! If you, dear Christian single, were the victim of verbal, physical or sexual abuse, renounce any shame, guilt or self-rejection for an evil act perpetrated upon you in childhood by an older person, teenager or parent! Do it immediately! The shame does not belong to you, but to the twisted and perverse perpetrator. Some children who lived in a dysfunctional home, and who craved loving hugs and tender words, allowed molesters to touch them and use them, and therefore, now carry a load of shame. If any reader sees yourself in this example, you need to be reminded that the criminal who took advantage of you knew you were a prime target, a child longing for love and acceptance, just the victim they were looking for! In NO case should the child accept any blame or guilt. It is ALWAYS the perpetrator’s fault. We adults are responsible for the safety of children, whether our own, or someone else’s child. Some pedophiles take advantage of children in poor families, plying them with gifts and attention. But in no way are they being kind or generous; indeed, they are setting up the child to rob them of their childhood and a happy future. Place the blame where it belongs, on a selfish, greedy, perverted individual. The shame and depression belong to the pervert, not to the abused person.

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