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CHRISTIAN
SINGLES
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CHRISTIAN SINGLES : GUIDE TO
ENDING LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION Cont.
Chapter 23 Self Sabotage; When You Shoot Yourself In
The Foot!
We can sabotage ourselves in many ways. A good job can be sabotaged
by coming in late, being non-productive or argumentative with co-workers
or managers or calling in sick often. We can bring our problems to work,
refuse to be a team player, dress inappropriately, or fail to practice
good hygiene, or simply have a bad attitude. But remember, all these
negatives are really self sabotage, not just laziness or carelessness.
We must get to the root of the problem, and this requires finding out
why a part of our mind wants us to fail. Then we can identify the cause
and pray against it, renouncing it and claiming our right to a sound
mind. Remember our verse, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of
power and love and a sound mind. Claim this, cling to it, and repeat it
over and over, so that you begin to train your mind to be renewed, and
not to be stuck on those old beliefs, based on a deep sense of shame,
worthlessness, or any negative root cause. Once you have been forgiven
by God, nothing you did in the past or thought about yourself in the
past can be held against you. You must destroy these old vain imaginings
and see yourself as a new person, a clean slate upon which you will
write self esteem, and a healthy and humble image of yourself. We will
look at other strategies to destroy self sabotage in later chapters, but
for now, just give the problem to the Lord to help you overcome the root
causes and begin to have confidence in yourself again. It is tragic that
a child can be abused or even molested and somehow the message that
sticks in the mind is that THEY were bad! What a travesty. It’s good
that abused children can now get counseling to show them that they were
innocent victims and it was not their fault, but that hasn’t always
been the case. Many children grew up, hindered with a sense of shame,
when, in reality, an abusive, evil adult is the only one who should be
ashamed! If you, dear Christian single, were the victim of verbal,
physical or sexual abuse, renounce any shame, guilt or self-rejection
for an evil act perpetrated upon you in childhood by an older person,
teenager or parent! Do it immediately! The shame does not belong to you,
but to the twisted and perverse perpetrator. Some children who lived in
a dysfunctional home, and who craved loving hugs and tender words,
allowed molesters to touch them and use them, and therefore, now carry a
load of shame. If any reader sees yourself in this example, you need to
be reminded that the criminal who took advantage of you knew you were a
prime target, a child longing for love and acceptance, just the victim
they were looking for! In NO case should the child accept any blame or
guilt. It is ALWAYS the perpetrator’s fault. We adults are responsible
for the safety of children, whether our own, or someone else’s child.
Some pedophiles take advantage of children in poor families, plying them
with gifts and attention. But in no way are they being kind or generous;
indeed, they are setting up the child to rob them of their childhood and
a happy future. Place the blame where it belongs, on a selfish, greedy,
perverted individual. The shame and depression belong to the pervert,
not to the abused person.
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