CHRISTIAN SINGLES : GUIDE TO
ENDING LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION Cont.
Chapter 18: Uncover The Hidden Roots of Your Problem
A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my
dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something."
The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few
simple tests he says, "I'm sorry, I don't feel a pulse, I'm
afraid your dog is dead".
The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead
-- do something else."
The vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a little cat.
The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to
toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden
just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. "Well, that
confirms it," the vet says, "your dog is dead."
The lady is very upset but finally settles down. "Okay, I
guess you're right. How much do I owe you?" The vet says,
"That will be $340."
The lady has a fit and asks, "Why is it so much? After all the
vet didn't do anything for the dog."
"Well", the vet replied, "it's $40 for the office
visit and $300 for the CAT SCAN!"
Hide him during a war
It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam
felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest:
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a
refugee in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he
stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more
question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet
?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my
hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it.
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been
operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again.
Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you."
"Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them
if you just leave me alone."
“God cures, but the doctor sends the bill.” Mark Twain
