Chapter 4. A
lonely Child’s Scheme To Find Friends
With these observations in mind,
let’s look at loneliness from a cultural view and relate it to your
present circumstances. We already touched on some of the reasons why
loneliness is so prevalent, such as a longer life span, when seniors
outlive their peers, and tend to live alone. In earlier times, a
healthier habit was to care for the extended family in their home.
(homes of the previous century were much larger, perhaps because
families were larger and when the children were grown, the
grandparents could move in.) Grandparents filled a valuable role,
helping with housework and watching the children, spending quality
time with them. They passed on the family’s heritage and values to
the youngsters, and made them all feel special.
Another reason more people are
living alone now is the onset of careers for women, beginning with the
second world war, when they were needed to replace men at war. Women
found fulfillment in earning a good living and many have juggled a
career and family, though it is extremely hard to do both, well. Many
singles, men and women, have chosen single hood, but psychologists
have found immense loneliness among them, too. But the “unmarried by
choice” are only a small subset of a lonely generation. My friend, a
counselor, talks with people of all ages and backgrounds. She’s
found cases of profound loneliness that seemed, sometimes, to almost
pull her into the abyss of sadness, with her clients, whom she
desperately wanted to help. There are therapies and medication that
can help, yet ending or at least managing loneliness and it’s cruel
fellow travelers, depression, alcohol and substance abuse is daunting
to say the least. Those who believe that loneliness could be cured if
the sufferer would just “snap out of it” don’t understand the
spiritual dynamics underlying the malady. This is where we will go,
later, to root out the spiritual cause so that you can gain victory
over loneliness, and not just :”manage it” with mood elevating
drugs and group therapy, though these are helpful for some with
extreme problems.
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