CHRISTIAN SINGLES GUIDE TO
ONLINE DATING ADVICE
CHRISTIAN SINGLES: ENJOY
GOD’S NATURAL SUPPLEMENT, HUMOR!
Two Irish friends greeted each other while
waiting their turn at the bank window.
“This reminds me of Finnegan,” remarked
one.
“What about Finnegan?” inquired the
other.
“Tis a story that Finnegan died, and when
he greeted St. Peter, he said: ‘It’s a fine job you’ve had here
for a long time.’ ‘Well, Finnegan,’ said St Peter, ‘here we
count a million years as a minute and a million dollars as a cent.’
‘Ah!’ said Finnegan, ‘I’m needing cash. Lend me a cent.’
‘Sure, said St. Peter, ‘wait just a minute.’
Great Truths from Small Children
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize
cats.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.
They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
It's hard to unlearn a bad word.
Ask Why until you understand.
It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.
A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.
It's only fun to play school when you're the teacher.
Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines.
Twelve is a lot older than eight.
Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.
Some nights it's not worth fighting over who gets the top bunk.
Don't expect your friends to be as excited about your "100"
as you are.
Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're
absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.
If you don't like the birthday girl, don't go to the party.
Crawling still gets you there.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.
You can't start over just because you're losing the game When you're
dressed up like a princess, it's easier to act like one.
If a tree had apples last year, don't expect pears this year.
One drop of black paint from the brush clouds the whole cup of water.
You can't be everyone's best friend.
A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.
All libraries smell the same.
Say grace.
If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.
Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.
Silence can be an answer.
Ask where things come from.
If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.
Don't nod on the phone.
